Is Gender Confusion JUST Confusion?

Inside: A Christian Momma’s answer to gender confusion.

My kids have great imaginations. They can turn my living room into a restaurant, serving the best plastic food invisible money can buy, or the lair of an evil sorcerer who has captured their family, or just a complete plain old mess of lego creations and random toys. One of their FAVORITE things to do is dress up. We have costumes of all sorts, from silky scarves to superhero capes & princess dresses to cowboy hats. Sometimes they fight over who gets what, but we manage to work it out.

Recently, my 3 yr old son brought me a pink ballerina skirt and asked me to help him put it on. Nope! Sorry, buddy, that is the girls’ costume. Let’s find something else for you. He whined. I told him to pick out something else. He cried. I stood my ground.

Was I wrong not to let my son wear a costume clearly meant for a girl?

Today’s culture would certainly tell me so!

I disagree.

Let’s just be logical for a minute.

My 3-year-old son sees his 2 sisters dress up as princesses and want to be like them. He hears them talk about being mommies someday and wants to be one too. On more than one occasion, he announced that he is a girl. Hmmm…our culture would call this “Gender Confusion.”

He ALSO crawls around on all fours and says he is a puppy. He stomps around while roaring and tells us he is a dinosaur. This morning, while the older kids did chores, he announced that he was going to be a VACUUM when he grows up.

HE IS 3!!!

I don’t let my 3 years old choose what the family will eat for dinner. I don’t hand him the checkbook and let him create the budget. And I definitely won’t let him DECIDE his gender!! The fact that he is a little boy was determined by God the moment of his conception and it is unchangeable. One could make the argument that, with hormone therapy and surgery, a boy can become a girl and vice versa. You are wrong. What makes a boy a boy is the Y chromosome. That canNOT be changed.

One may argue that a person who “feels” like a different gender was born “wrong.”

I disagree again.

My son often feels he has the right to hit a sibling when they won’t give him what he wants. He is wrong.
He often feels he can lie to avoid getting in trouble when he disobeys. Still wrong.
He often feels he can refuse to go to bed when I tell him it is time. Wrong again!

My husband and I are teaching all of our kids that what they FEEL is not what should guide their actions and behavior. Just because they feel a certain way, that does NOT mean they have no choice but to act on it. It is time to stop feeding our children the line, “Follow your heart!” to see how it feels when they are making their decisions. Our hearts constantly lead us astray!!

As Christian mothers, we should be directing our kids to follow Jesus.

God doesn’t want our eyes on our hearts, because hearts aren’t designed to be followed. Hearts are designed to be led and directed (2 Thessalonians 3:5). God wants the eyes of our hearts enlightened to see the real treasure and pursue it (Ephesians 1:18). That’s why he tells us to fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). God doesn’t want us to erroneously think we follow our hearts; he wants us to know we follow Jesus.

No One Follows Their Heart, Jon Bloom

My 3-year-old may sometimes have “gender confusion,” but it is just that – CONFUSION. I remind him that God created him to be a boy and God doesn’t make mistakes. I will continue to correct him when he tries to control mealtime, bedtime, or playtime. And I will continue to correct him when he says he is a girl. I love him too much to allow his sin to control him.

Stand firm, Christian Momma! Don’t let a sinful culture determine what you teach your children.

One thought on “Is Gender Confusion JUST Confusion?”

  1. Thank you for touching on this topic! This discussion has gotten so far from the truth that it is causing so much more harm than good. You are right – X and Y chromosomes. You change the physical aspects of a human, but their fundamental design is determined in the womb.
    Children are highly impressionable and learn from what they hear and see. Their brains aren’t even fully developed until well into their 20’s. I’ve known of cases where young children where part of hateful custody battles and the mother accused the father of sexual abuse and the child went to a lot of counseling (ordered through the court) and they were actually “brainwashed” into thinking they had been touched when, in fact, they never were. My own sister was conditioned to think something that absolutely didn’t happen. I’ve also known of many young children who decided they were a dog or some other animal and ran around acting like it for a period of time. As a parent in this situation, you would most definitely allow the child to have his/her fun but you would also let the child know that is just play because he/she is actually human and not a dog. What is the difference between that and your little boy wanting to play dress up with his sisters?
    So to allow a child of this age to “make up their own mind on their gender” is just wrong! Like you said, you wouldn’t let them balance your checkbook! I know this is a sensitive topic and most discussions turn into hateful interactions.


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