It was 8 am, I was already exhausted. I had been woken up 3 different times during the night. The kids’ morning routine had fallen apart, breakfast had been a mess & I had to shove the older kids out the door before they missed the bus. There had been tantrums and tears all before 7 am and I was already worn out. I just wanted a chance to drink my coffee and read my Bible, just 10 min of alone time, but my 2 youngest kept interrupting me with their endless needs.
Can you relate?
And then it happened, the straw that broke the camel’s back. My potty-training son pooped in his pants…again…for the 100th time.
I started screaming. Not yelling. Not constructively correcting a toddler learning a new skill. Nope – screaming like a banshee, no doubt scaring the life out of my children while cleaning up the mess and sending both to their rooms.
That was a low point…my lowest point, in fact. That was the point at which I decided I was going to have it out with God. I knew I was out of control but I had no ability to gain control.
In the safety of my room, I continued to scream, but this time it was at God.
I screamed about how tired I was, how unhappy I was, how I hated that I was so angry. So WHY was I so angry? I had healthy kids, a husband who provided, good friends, supportive parents, a beautiful home, food on the table, gas in my car, clothes on my back…and the list went on. I screamed blessing after blessing after blessing. Some were big and some were small, but they were all blessings! 30 min later I was nothing up an exhausted heap of tears on my bedroom floor and God took it…
God took my anger away.
He reminded me that He loved me and that I wasn’t going to be that way anymore. He had been waiting for me this whole time, waiting for me to run back towards Him, waiting with open arms.
I have this great t-shirt that always gets laughs whenever I wear it.
When people find out I have 5 kids, their eyes get real big and they start nodding like they completely understand why I have lost my mind. Like I have a “good excuse” to be a basketcase of a mother.
Here’s the thing, they had no idea what I was really dealing with. My anger was not funny.
If you are thinking that I completely stopped yelling at my kids or getting worked up over the small stuff, you would be very mistaken. BUT I am getting better every day with every circumstance. I am no longer losing my mind one kid at a time because…
Angry is how I GET, it is NOT who I AM!
If you are dealing with anger that you canNOT control on your own, take it to God. Scream, beg, wail at Him because He can take. Nothing you can say will hurt His feelings or make Him feel inferior. And He is also the only one who can help you let it go.
To learn more about HOW I started to 5 Ways to Break The ANGRY Habit and How to STOP Overreacting when it is your Default Mode.
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